


Breaking Point

by Baamon5evr



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dark Merlin, Gen, Merlin deserves to get some anger out, Post-Episode: s04e09 Lancelot Du Lac, kind of, no gwen present but strong spiritual presence, so this happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 21:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following Gwen's banishment, Merlin's been stewing in a pit of anger that is about to be unleashed on some unsuspecting knights. <br/>Set in 4x11, darker!/BAMF!/kickass bestie!Merlin. <br/>Heavy merwen friendship and undertones of arwen romance and merthur friendship. Rated T for violence and language</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I made this because after rewatching 4x10 & 4x11 I noticed the heavy tension between Merlin and Arthur and thus this fic was born (plus I always wanted to see Merlin kick some major ass. Features darker!Merlin/BAMF!Merlin/kickass bestie!Merlin. No real romantic pairings, there is undertones of Arwen because it's inevitable but if there was a pairing it'd be Merwen friendship.

Merlin was pissed off but that wasn't exactly a rare occurrence these days. He and Arthur had been on a precarious tightrope for a while now. Ever since Merlin spoke up for Gaius and against Agravaine to Arthur when the old physician was kidnapped, the two had an unspoken tension. Merlin tried his best to bury and ignore it because he had a destiny to fulfill but then Morgana resurrected Lancelot to seduce Gwen and Arthur subsequently banished her.

Merlin had watched Gwen struggle down the road a few paces before he made his decision and chased after her. When he caught up to her he could see she was crying and her shaking made pulling the cart even more difficult. He had hugged her tightly, wiped her tears and pulled her cart with her silently to the city gates. He could see Elyan standing by the gates waiting for Gwen and so he hugged her again, promised her it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other and he left the brother and sister to say goodbye.

The last image he had of Gwen was her sobbing in a tearful and regretful Elyan's arms and that is the image that keeps flashing through his mind everytime he looks at Princess Mithian with Arthur and so he irrationally despises her. That is the image he sees everytime he watches Arthur be absolutely miserable so he can't bring himself to care too much if the king suffers because he's more worried for Gwen and where she could be out there on her own. That image jumps into the forefront of his mind whenever he sees Agravaine's face and it makes a dark anger rise in Merlin, an anger that makes the goofy eared man wonder how it would feel to end Agravaine's life. Would he use his magic or would he kill him the mortal way? Would it be a terribly intimate affair or would Agravaine just get caught in the crossfire as Merlin targeted Morgana? However, he usually quickly put those thoughts away as he remembered Gwen telling him once when Uther executed her father that seeking revenge made her no better than him. Those words and Gaius' advice had kept Merlin from doing anything too reckless but then he found that damn bracelet.

Arthur had ordered him to clean the dungeons because Merlin spoke about Gwen again and he found it in one of the dungeon cell corners. Merlin had recognized it immediately. Gwen had told him Lancelot gave it to her and really he should've realized something was wrong then but he still thought Lancelot was after Arthur and not Gwen. He and Gaius investigated the bracelet and came to find out it was enchanted, that Gwen had never willingly betrayed Arthur and so now Merlin felt like he was at a breaking point. He was about to teeter over the edge of some great cliff and plunge into a darkness that he hadn't yet ever seen.

It really was a long time coming. Merlin had fought off the darker side of himself for a while but he felt each loss he sustained chip away at his resolve: Will, Freya, Morgana, Balinor, Kilgharrah's victims during his attack and Lancelot and then Morgana and Lancelot again and now Gwen was gone. She was his best friend, a constant piece of light that helped him to fight against the dark and she was gone so far out of his reach.

Usually he'd have Arthur but he blamed Arthur for Gwen being gone. Part of him felt it was unfair of him because Arthur loves Gwen and everyone believes she betrayed him the night before their wedding but even before he found the bracelet Merlin looked at Arthur and couldn't help but feel anger and blame well up in him. Arthur was here safe in Camelot with people who love and support him surrounding him and Gwen was out in the world, wrongfully branded a scarlet woman and being shunned by any who knew her past.

So yes, Merlin was pissed. For him, being who he is, that sort of thing was dangerous.

He felt like going to Morgana's hovel sans the disguise and flaying her alive.

He felt like breaking all of Agravaine's bones only to reset them and break them all over again.

He felt like screaming and shouting Agravaine's treachery and Gwen's innocence in Arthur's ear until it rang in his mind long after Merlin's voice went hoarse and the young king's eardrums shattered from the volume and if that didn't work he'd beat it into the prat's thick skull... literally.

Even darker thoughts had crossed his mind, thoughts of summoning Kilgharrah to burn Camelot to the ground because right now he didn't think Arthur or Morgana deserved the kingdom. He had even entertained bringing Lancelot's shade back and making him tell Arthur the truth but then he thought of Lancelot looking at him as if he were a monster. He thought of the easygoing Gwaine, who considered Merlin his best friend, and the look of fear, shock and betrayal that would be in his eyes if Merlin lost his way. He thought of the sadness that would be in Gaius' eyes as he watched Merlin tear Camelot and himself apart, the disappointment and fear Gwen would have of him when she saw how far he went in her honor. She would not thank him; she would curse him for the lives lost that she would feel hung on her head. Gwen told him not to seek revenge and so he wouldn't, he'd seek justice and recompense and Gwen herself but not revenge or retribution or Camelot's end because she wouldn't want it.

He wondered briefly what Kilgharrah would think of him now, what he would make of the struggle that the mighty Emrys, who was supposedly the good warlock, was going through. The good warlock. Ha! If he was the light to Morgana's darkness then there really was no saving her and she was a bottomless pit because he felt like he was barely wading above the darkness.

Kilgharrah only saw destiny with a tunneled vision that one acquired after centuries of seeing history repeat itself albeit in different ways. The great dragon didn't realize that part of Merlin's "light" was the people he loved and the more he gave up while on the path of the destiny Kilgharrah had put him on, the more he resented it and in turn both Arthur and Kilgharrah. And it wasn't just them. Save Gwen, Gwaine and most recently Gaius, Merlin was upset and resented everyone including himself.

He just wanted to see her, just once, and he'd feel better then. He wouldn't feel like he was about to swim in the blackest sea and wrought the most fiery destruction. If he could just talk to her and hear her gentle and understanding voice advise him on what to do next he could forgive Arthur and Kilgharrah and himself and all would be better. He could then focus on getting her back to Camelot and protecting Albion's future against Morgana and her allies instead of focusing on keeping thoughts of it's destruction and Morgana's at bay.

He sighed deeply pulling himself out of his ever growing dark thoughts and focused on his surroundings. He was in the training field watching some knights get ready for training. The Knights of the Round Table, as Kilgharrah called them, weren't there yet and Arthur was probably having breakfast with Mithian so Merlin sat to the side mechanically polishing armor wondering why he was still here. Then he heard them.

"Yeah, I had her while they were together." Merlin heard one of the knights say. He recognized him as Sir Robert; he was one of those bullies Merlin encountered when he first met Arthur. He hadn't changed much. Merlin wondered briefly who they were talking about but he had a sinking feeling he already knew and so he continued to listen.

"You're lying. She wouldn't bed you." He heard a younger knight who wasn't noble born named Kay say. Gwen had introduced Kay to Arthur and though Agravaine strongly advised against more "peasant knights", Arthur had taken the eighteen year old into training and subsequently knighted him. Merlin knew the young knight would speak up for Gwen... if it was indeed Gwen Sir Robert spoke of.

"Shut up boy! What would you know?!" Sir Bors lashed out at Kay. He was a bully too.

"I know Gwen. She wouldn't just lay with any man and certainly not ones as uncouth, crass, womanizing and ugly as you lot." Kay replied fiercely before moving from the shocked group to older and disciplined knights. The group of three men started laughing after a few more moments of shocked silence.

"The boy's probably upset he didn't get any before her treachery was discovered." Sir Ranulf said.

"I'm sure she was no use by then, the dirty whore." Robert said emphasizing his point by spitting on the floor. Merlin felt that dark rage coming back full force now and he didn't think he could control it this time.

"I'm fairly certain that Arthur was the man Guinevere shared a bed with the least." Sir Bors added.

"A common harlot. No better than the loose women from the brothel." Sir Robert said.

"She may as well not have worn clothing, she all but threw herself at any passing fancy." Sir Bors interjected.

"I would've taught her a lesson she wouldn't have soon forgotten." Ranulf sneered. Merlin had enough at that point. He decided it wasn't enough to hurt them from afar using magic, no, it had to be up close. He needed to stare into their eyes and see fear.

 _Gwen wouldn't want this._ A tiny voice whispered.

 _Gwen isn't here_. He thought back before removing his brown wool jacket, grabbing a sword and a gauntlet and making his way to the three men who didn't even notice him coming as they were too caught up in vulgar talks about Gwen.

"Oi!" He called to them. The three men were a little taken aback by his appearance at first. There was a darkness they never would've previously attributed to Merlin and his irises seemed to flash gold while a cross between a frown and a sneer was set on his lips. In fact, that look reminded them of Morgana and at that thought a brief collective shudder went through all the knights in attendance before Sir Bors collected himself.

"What do you want, Merlin?" Bors asked harshly. Merlin looked at them silently with a raised eyebrow for a second before he threw down the gauntlet in front of them, moving the sword closer in front of him for them to see.

"What is the meaning of this, servant?" Robert questioned.

"Am I to believe I must explain the Knight's Code to three knights?" Merlin asked in a tone that sent shivers through the now silent training field.

"Well, you three were always a bit daft." Merlin said rolling his eyes.

"When a gauntlet is thrown down it means a challenge has been issued." He continued, talking slowly as if they were simpletons.

"You dare challenge us?! You? A lowly serving boy?!" Robert hissed at Merlin.

"One on one sword fight, right here right now. If I win: not another word about Guinevere." Merlin said, ignoring Robert's words.

"Who will take up my challenge?" Merlin questioned, while the other knights who weren't involved looked on with interest. Ranulf picked the gauntlet up.

"You don't know what you've done to yourself, boy." Ranulf said, dropping the gauntlet back to the floor and unsheathed his sword.

The two walked a little ways into a more open area and it seemed everyone within the vicinity stopped to watch the fight. As soon as they reached the spot Ranulf lunged at the unarmored Merlin but he jumped out of the way quickly. His magic made his instincts and reflexes much faster than any of the other knights' -- it's how he usual dodged Arthur's flying projectiles. Ranulf lunged again and Merlin blocked his attack. Ranulf pushed Merlin back and lashed out with his sword hoping to catch Merlin in his left side, Merlin moved quickly enough so the sword cut his arm but he avoided a much more serious injury at least. Ranulf and Merlin exchanged a few more blocked advances before Merlin decided to end the fight. He made the grass beneath Ranulf slippery so that he lost his concentration enough for Merlin to turn his sword and use the butt as a weapon. With his magic giving him even more strength, as soon as Ranulf looked at Merlin again the younger man slammed the sword into the knight's nose eliciting a loud crunch and causing blood to immediately start gushing from his nose. The blow threw Ranulf so off kilter that he slipped on the grass and landed heavily on his back still holding his nose and yelling in pain. Merlin knew the nose was broken and would probably cause Ranulf to get two black eyes too.

He looked up at Bors and Robert expectantly, paying no attention to the spectator knights whose mouths were all gaping at Merlin. Merlin didn't notice Gwaine, Leon, Elyan and Percival slip into the crowd. Bors grabbed his sword and charged at Merlin with a war cry. Merlin blocked it but noted that Bors was stronger than Ranulf so he had to use his magic as a strength enhancer much more. Merlin focused mainly on defense with Bors just like with Ranulf and when an accurate amount of time passed and the two men's swords were crossed together in a battle for dominance (which under normal circumstances Merlin couldn't hope to win) Merlin made the hilt of Bors sword send an electrical shock through his body, stunning him briefly. It was long enough for Merlin to headbutt the man and then knee him in the ribs hard, causing some to fracture. It sent a winded Bors to the ground and Merlin's foot followed, pressing hard against the injured ribs causing them to break. Merlin smirked with a wild look in his eyes at Bors cries of pain as he squirmed under Merlin's boot. The knights were frightened of the crazed look on Merlin's face, it really was too much like Morgana's for comfort, but they'd never admit their fear.

Merlin lifted his boot after a few moments, looking up in time to see Sir Robert haul a shield up and bring it crashing down on Merlin's jaw without warning. Merlin's head whipped to the side and he felt a cut bleeding on his chin. The only reason his jaw probably wasn't broken was because he didn't see it coming in time to tense up. He heard the knights gasp in shock. Gwaine looked at his best friend on the grass clutching his jaw and felt rage well up in him. He lifted his hand to the hilt of his sword but heard Sir Robert's voice before he could draw.

"Stay out of this you drunkard, peasant knight. The boy called for single hand-to-hand combat and that is what I am granting him."

"Gwaine, unfortunately he's right. You can't intervene." Leon said reluctantly. Gwaine glared hard at Robert.

"Doesn't mean he gets to fight dirty."

"Oh please. You dirty blooded knights wouldn't know the first thing about nobility or what it is to be a knight. You're a bunch of -- ah!" Sir Robert's insults were cut off by his rather high pitched scream followed by an equally feminine sounding moan of pain. He dropped his sword, fell to his knees with his shield landing on him and his hands then flew to his now throbbing groin. During his entire exchange with Gwaine and Leon, Robert forgot the number one rule: never turn your back on your enemy. Merlin recovered quicker from the blow than Robert anticipated and decided if the knight was going to figuratively hit below the belt by using a shield as a weapon then Merlin had no qualms against hitting below the belt literally. He used the sword's butt and with his magic backing him up he cut what was probably going to be a very long, insult filled rant about Gwaine, Elyan and Percival - the peasant knights (though Gwaine was a noble but he wouldn't tell anyone and Merlin had his own secret so he wouldn't push) - by ramming the butt of the sword into Sir Robert's nether regions.

Serves him right too.

"That's for daring to think you could defile Gwen's virtue." Merlin hissed at the prone man. Merlin moved around the man and stomped hard on his foot causing him to recoil further in on himself, moving one hand to hold his foot like it would do any good.

"That's for speaking of her as if you have an ounce of her nobility, honor, compassion and goodness." Merlin continued. Merlin kicked him in the ribs next, not as hard as he did Sir Bors but still hard enough to leave the beginnings of a bruise.

"That's for talking about any woman in such a manner, especially one that happens to be my friend." Merlin was still circling the prone man. He briefly noted that the other men were still on the floor as well and the knights were watching with renewed interest as they finally learned what the fight was about. Merlin looked up and saw Arthur watching him with Agravaine beside him. Arthur was looking at Merlin with shock, disbelief and, most upsetting to Merlin, anger. Arthur obviously couldn't hear what he was telling the man and probably didn't know what the fight was about. Merlin didn't know how Arthur would react if he learned the truth and honestly he didn't care. However, seeing Arthur had actually stoked Merlin's anger instead of flaring it up. He had let out most of his frustrations on the three knights. He was about to leave when Robert opened his mouth despite his vulnerable position.

"I hope the whore wench has been forced upon in the harshest of ways and that she is face down in a ditch somewhere." And just like that the rage came soaring back but Merlin didn't try to stop it this time. He raised the sword above him with deadly intent. He brought it down, intending to slash at Sir Robert but he positioned the shield between himself and the sword. Merlin didn't stop, he kept bringing the sword slashing down making loud bangs against the shield whilst others looked on frozen.

"Don't... talk... about... Gwen... like... that! You... don't... know... her! Shut... up... shut... up... shut... up!" Merlin shouted between slashes. Merlin turned the sword so the blade was facing straight towards Robert and lifting it above his head, grabbing onto his magic, intending to bring the blade straight through the shield and impale Sir Robert.

"Merlin, don't!" He heard Gwaine scream and break the proverbial spell that fell over Merlin. Merlin turned to Gwaine who stared at him imploringly as if his gaze alone could force Merlin to drop the blade. Robert seized the moment to hit Merlin's knees with the shield causing him to fall. Robert stood up and grabbed the sword about to impale Merlin when someone grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. A fist collided with his face and knocked him out cold. Merlin looked up to see Elyan standing over Robert staring daggers at him.

 _Well, at least he's finally acting like a brother._ Merlin thought fleetingly.

Merlin stood back up and looked at the knights. Most were looking at him in surprise and with a new respect, Kay had a small smile on his face and so did Percival, Gwaine was looking at him with concern and Leon was scrutinizing him. It actually made him feel uncomfortable so he looked back over to where Arthur and Agravaine stood. Agravaine was sneering at Merlin in disgust like he was an insect to be crushed beneath his boot and Arthur was looking at Merlin... angrily. Merlin rolled his eyes. Of course Arthur thought Merlin started it, which wasn't really true. He did instigate it but those knights started it when they started talking about Gwen. Merlin shared a mutual glare with Arthur before he rolled his eyes again and stalked away from the field towards the castle. He could tell Arthur was following him. He made it to an empty corridor before he abruptly whirled around to face Arthur.

"What do you want?" Merlin asked flatly.

"What do I... what do I want? What do I want?! I want to know what the hell that little show you just put on was! What do you think you're doing?!" Arthur yelled at him.

"I did what I had to do..." Merlin answered lowly.

"They are knights! My knights! You are nothing but a servant..."

"I did my duty as a friend and as a brother..."

"You had absolutely no right-"

"I had every right in the world to defend Gwen's honor against those... men!" Merlin said, finally raising his voice and using the word 'men' loosely because those knights were nothing but disrespectful thugs.

"Guinevere?" Arthur questioned, faltering in his anger now.

"She was my best friend, she was like a sister to me and you exiled her!"

"She betrayed me!" Arthur protested.

"Bloody hell, will you actually use your brain for once! Or is your head so far up Agravaine's ass you've lost all notion of common sense?" Merlin exclaimed exasperatedly at him.

"Excuse me?" Arthur asked in disbelief and anger at Merlin's words.

"Agravaine has obviously been using you as a puppet for much too long because you've lost the ability to think for yourself. There was a whole year where Gwen had the opportunity to leave you for Lancelot or betray you but she never did. Then Lancelot mysteriously appears just after you propose to Gwen, making her another person with more power and claim to the throne than Morgana and Gwen just all of a sudden redevelops feelings for Lancelot, who wasn't even acting at all like himself. Don't all of the coincidences and circumstances strike you as the least bit suspect? All those times you and Uther have blamed magic for something it didn't do and now is the one time someone's wrongful use of magic was staring you in the face and you don't even see it... but of course not because Agravaine spoke and you listened. I suppose you'd burn down half the kingdom if Agravaine says that that's what Uther would've done: your tyrant king of a father." Merlin ranted. He knew he was going too far but once he started he couldn't stop himself.

"You had better watch your tongue." Arthur warned in a low, threatening voice but Merlin paid it no attention.

"The truth of the matter is that your own insecurities when it comes to Gwen and Lancelot is why you didn't look further into what happened. Instead of ever bringing it up to Gwen you just buried it and let it fester and now it's poisoned you against her."

"Well I was proven right, wasn't I? She kissed him!" Arthur exclaimed, wondering what half of what Merlin said actually meant. Merlin wanted to shout out the truth but that would mean exposing himself and he didn't want to reveal his deepest secret whilst in the midst of an argument with Arthur.

"There was once a time when you fought against Uther banishing Gwen because you knew she had nowhere else to go and now you're the one that's thrown her to the streets. You really are no better than your father." Merlin said in a calmer voice while shaking his head in disgust and disappointment at the King.

"Your ignorance towards the obvious and lack of trust in your friends will be your downfall. Your inability to discern friend from foe will be this kingdom's undoing. You sitting there pushing friends away while warmly inviting the enemy in will lead you to your death and I've half a mind to let it happen. Gwen would've been the best thing to happen to Camelot and it's only for her sake I'm putting up with you now. Remember that." Merlin finished. Arthur was frozen in shock so he didn't do anything to stop Merlin storming away. If he could he'd have clasped irons on him and hauled him to the dungeons, left him there to think about the consequences of his actions but instead Arthur was frozen.

He missed Guinevere deeply. She and Merlin were the two most important people to him now. He never wanted to lose one let alone both of them but now it appeared that he did. In banishing Gwen he all but lost her as the love of his life and lost Merlin as a best friend, as a brother. Now he just felt like he was an obligation to Merlin and he hated it. However he was a Pendragon, they were a stubborn lot and so Arthur wouldn't admit out loud that he missed both Guinevere and Merlin. The distance between he and his manservant might as well be as great as that of he and his beloved because they rarely talked anymore. Merlin would do his best to reach the king but Arthur mostly just shut him down and he knew he shouldn't push Merlin away but he couldn't take another betrayal. First Morgana then Gwen and Lancelot, he felt one more betrayal would break his will to fight and he knew another one was coming, afterall there was still a traitor at court, and the more they remained elusive the more Arthur feared their identity.


End file.
